A Lesson From My Mom: Live in the Moment!

Yesterday I went to visit my mom who has been struggling with dementia since 2014.  Mom is only 79 years old and yet she can hardly speak due to really bad aphasia, is wheelchair-bound, and is unable to feed herself or take care of her own daily needs.  Thankfully, she still recognizes our faces (although she can’t come up with our names) and seems to get excited when she sees one of my siblings or me, or even our spouses or children. What strikes me the most, however, is that my mom has very little concept of either the past or future.  She is pretty much just living in the moment. 

A great moment with my mom and dad in 1960!

With Mother’s Day coming this Sunday, I stopped at a nearby supermarket on my way to see her and picked up a Mother’s Day card and flowering plant.  Since mom can’t read, I needed to make sure the card would be visually attractive to her, so I got her a card with lots of little kittens on the cover (she always loved cats!).  The plant had large daisy-like flowers in a very bright peach color. Again, I wanted to make sure it would be visually appealing to her.  Although my mom doesn’t understand that it is Mother’s Day or what that means, when I gave her the card and plant her face lit up.  It was for her, a moment of pleasure. And, that’s our goal: to simply make the most of the moments we are with her and the moment in which she is living. 

The Apostle Paul speaks of “making the most of every opportunity” or literally, “making the most of every moment.” (Ephesians 5:16) The writer of Ecclesiastes writes, “I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live.” (Ecclesiastes 3:12)  Later on he writes, “Sow your seed in the morning, and at evening let your hands not be idle, for you do not know which will succeed, whether this or that, or whether both will do equally well.” (Ecclesiastes 11:6 – NIV)  In other words, we are challenged us to enjoy and use well the moments in which we find ourselves living.

We all know we have a tendency to keep on looking back, often holding onto regret and pain; while at the same time looking ahead, often with anxiety and fear. We can become so taken up with the past and the future that we begin to miss the moments at hand. Before we know it, the moments we were meant to enjoy and use wisely have passed and we are left wondering where life has gone. 

Although I grieve over my mom’s current condition, she has reminded me to not allow myself to become trapped in the past nor to obsess over the future. It’s as if she is teaching me another lesson: Don’t forget to live in the moment!

Have a great day! And, happy Mother’s Day to all the moms!

Pastor Tim Harris