Holding Hands With Dad

I don’t remember the last time I actually held hands with my father.  I must have been very young—probably crossing a street or walking through a store or in a park.  Whenever and wherever it was, it was surely a long time ago…that is up until this past month.  Of course, through the years we would shake hands and give each other a kind of awkward father-son hug.  It wasn’t like we never touched each other. But, to hold hands is different.  I’m talking about putting your hand in your dad’s hand, palm against palm and fingers wrapped around each other’s—and keeping it there for a while.

Over the past few weeks, as my father became more and more ill, I found my hand in his much more often.  As he drew closer towards his final breath, it was as if my hand just gravitated towards his; as if I could find some comfort in feeling the palm of his hand in mine; his fingers maybe wrapped around mine.  And, I think I was hoping that he was finding comfort as well in feeling my hand against his.   

On the night of his death, when I saw his breathing begin to change, I instinctually went to his side and before I knew it, had slipped my hand into his. I looked down and there was my hand, looking so much younger than his; I was holding a hand that seemed to have aged decades in just a few days.  I wanted to hold onto him, maybe hoping that I could rescue him—or at the very least lead him through his journey. Maybe my hand would be of some comfort to him.  I didn’t want to let go.  But, then came the final breath and I knew it was time to release him—release him to his new home; release him from my world and from my grip. It was time to release him into God’s hands—hands that are so much stronger and much more comforting than mine.  On May 7, 2014 at 9:05 pm my dad let go of mine and took hold of his heavenly Father’s hand.    

In the end, the best we can do is entrust our lives and the lives of those whom we love, to God, believing that he is a good Father who holds us in his hands both now and on into eternity.    

“Into your hands I commit my spirit; redeem me, O LORD, the God of truth.” (Psalm 31:5 – NIV)

Thanks for your prayers.  

Pastor Tim Harris

www.pifnny.org