Just The Two of Us


The old pop song said:
“Just the two of us, we can make it if we try…Just the two of us, building castles in the sky; Just the two of us, you and I.” 

Well, that’s how it is for Kim and me these days: it’s just the two of us.  With the all three of our children away now (two in college and one working in Nicaragua), things have changed a bit here in our home.  We don’t have to think about getting home for anyone at the end of the day. The schedule is much less cluttered—we don’t have a host of school events on our calendars.  There’s less laundry, less picking up, less cooking, less dish washing, etc.  After all, it is just the two of us. 

I guess on the surface all of that sounds great.  And, maybe at some point we will appreciate it. But although Kim and I love our time together as husband and wife, right now there is something strange for us as we look into two empty bedrooms, see the empty seats at the table, and experience so much less energy in the house.  It’s not that we don’t like being alone with one another it’s just that after twenty-two years of taking care of children it is suddenly a very strange feeling to not have them around.  It’s strange to be living once again as “just the two of us.”

What I have come to realize, even in just this past week, is how important it is for a husband and wife to maintain their relationship during the child-rearing years.  If they don’t, when the children leave they won’t have a relationship to fall back on. Now I understand why it is that so many couples at this juncture in their marriage struggle. Thus, my word of advice to all the young parents out there is this: In spite of all the time, energy, and focus your children demand, make sure you continue to pour time and energy into your marital relationship. Stay focused on the relationship that brought those children into this world in the first place. 

Secondly, as a lesson for all of us—married, single, with or without children—I have realized how often during our child-rearing years, I allowed the proverbial “mole hills” to become “mountains.” Without getting into specifics, I realize that, things I perceived to be so important at that point in time, have turned out not to be important at all.  I wonder how many times I acted and reacted based on the fact that my priorities had become a bit mixed up.  I wonder how many conflicts and discipline issues I could have avoided if I had been a little more focused on my relationship with my children and less focused on some of the other stuff of life.

I want to encourage each of you to, keep first things first. Don’t allow the small things of life to create conflict or build walls between you and those around you.  After your relationship with God, the people in your life and the relationships you have with them need to be seen as the top priority of  life. Take time to love, to enjoy, and care for those around you. Take time to appreciate the gift of people God has placed into your life. 
I love my kids, miss them a lot, and look forward to when they come home on their breaks—or whenever. In the meantime, Kim and I will adapt to once again living as “just the two of us,” not just because we have to, but because we really do love each other, appreciate each other, and realize that the relationship we have is truly God’s gift to us.  I hope only to use the time we have with each other—as well as any time we may have with our children—wisely. 

 “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.” (Romans 12:10 – NIV) 

“Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law.”  (Romans 13:8 – NIV)

Have a great day!

Pastor Tim Harris

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