A Father's Affirmation
Today is my first
Father’s Day without my dad. In honor of
my dad who passed away on May 7 of this year and in honor of all the dad’s out
there, I want to share this article I wrote on my father’s 80th
birthday:
I didn’t really know how much I wanted or
needed my father’s approval and affirmation until I finally received it. Let me explain.
From my early teen years on, I knew I had
been called by God to the ministry. As a
high school senior, however, I realized that my father would not approve of me
going to Bible school. He wanted me to have an education and a career that
would provide more stability than that which a life of ministry can
promise. And, I know he wanted to
protect me from the hurts that he had so often seen church people bring upon a
pastor and his family. Mostly, however, I thought that he didn’t believe that I
could be an effective pastor and preacher.
After graduating college and then working for
a few years, God’s call on my life became so strong that I finally made the
decision to leave my job and go full-time to seminary to study for the
ministry—in spite of the fact that I thought my father would probably still not
approve. I had come to that place in
life in which I knew I had to do what God was calling me to do, whether or not
I had my father’s approval. I even told
myself I didn’t need his approval.
Time went on.
I finished an M.Div. Program and went on to serve as an associate pastor
and then for seven years as a senior pastor.
After close to eleven years of ministry, I had the opportunity to preach
at my home church. It was in fact, the
first time since I had been in full-time ministry that my parents heard me
preach. Following that service something
happened that I did not expect. My father came to me, put his arms around me
and said, “You’re a really good preacher.
You’re doing what you should be doing”
With those words, I sensed my father’s
affirmation. And, at that moment I felt a
weight lift off my shoulders that I didn’t even know had been there, giving me
a new confidence to do what God had called me to do. Most of all, I learned that day the amazing
power that’s found in a father’s affirmation.
My guess is that all of us have built within
us a deep-seated need for a father’s approval.
Sometimes that need may lead us to carry a weight that can burden us or
cause us to live our lives in unhealthy ways.
There are times when we must move on with life whether or not we have
our father’s approval—and whether or not we will ever receive it. But, it may also be that very same drive that
can cause us live our lives in such a way that we receive the affirmation of our
heavenly Father.
This week my father is turning 80 years
old. I do greatly appreciate all that he
did for me as I was growing up – providing, protecting, looking out for what he
felt was in my best interest. I want to
do all that I can to honor him during this season of his life. I want to make sure, however, that my life is
lived not just for his approval. I want
to live in such a way that one day my heavenly Father will say to me, “This
is my son whom I love; with him I am well pleased!”
Happy Father’s Day to all the dads!
Pastor Tim Harris
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