Missing Grandma

Last Tuesday, April 5, 2011 my 94 year old grandmother (and last grandparent) passed away. On Thursday we held the funeral service and buried her. On Saturday we cleaned out her apartment. Now all that’s left are the few mementos we have in our homes and the host of memories that we hold in our hearts.

My grandmother was only 42 years old when I, the oldest of her five grandchildren, was born. As a young grandmother, she was able to run around New York City with her five grandchildren. We went to Radio City Music Hall, Chinatown, Central Park, The Museum of Natural History, etc. We ate at all kinds of restaurants: Chinese, Cuban, Mexican, Greek – even the Hilton Hotel in Midtown. Just about every other weekend she would come to our house and babysit us. We would play games, have “tea parties,” and eat cookies and rolls from the Jewish bakery.

Being that she was Jewish, it was from her we learned not only about Jewish foods – corned beef, pastrami, rugelach, challah bread, knishes, matzo ball soup, etc. (I’m getting hungry!) – but as well how to keep a house kosher and something of the Jewish holidays. We would watch as she (or earlier on, my great-grandmother) would light the Shabbos (Sabbath) candles. Although we didn’t have a formal Passover Seder (there was no man in the house to lead it), Passover was always very significant to us.

Last Thursday, my brother and I conducted the funeral service, honoring as many of the Jewish traditions as we could – no flowers, no embalming or open casket. Some shared memories. A liturgical Jewish piece was played by my daughter and niece. Finally, we went to the cemetery and buried her in the traditional plain pine box, each placing a shovel-full of dirt on the casket. With that, it was over. Life and death had come to an end.

People say my grandmother lived a good, full life. It is true that 94 years is a pretty full life. But of course, “full” is relative. Ultimately, whether we live 50, 70, or 90 years (or more or less), our lives are so brief. It feels like it was just yesterday that we were on the subways running around Manhattan together or standing in line at the bakery. It feels like it was only a short while ago that we were sitting in a restaurant discussing the quality of the coffee or sharing a dessert. It’s no wonder the Bible tells us to make the best use of our time that we can. Ultimately, life goes by very, very quickly.

Psalm 39:4-5 – “…let me know how fleeting is my life. You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Each man's life is but a breath.” (NIV)

I’ll miss my grandmother. Not so much the grandmother of the past year, who was very quickly declining in both body and mind. I’ll miss the grandmother who ran around NYC with us, played and laughed, was almost always all dressed up, and who, most of all, loved her family; the grandmother whom we loved very, very much.

Thanks for letting me share my thoughts with you. Have a good day!

-Pastor Tim Harris

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