Just The Two of Us
The
old pop song said:
“Just the two of us, we can make it if we
try…Just the two of us, building castles in the sky; Just the two of us, you
and I.”
Well,
that’s how it is for Kim and me these days: it’s just the two of us. With the
all three of our children away now (two in college and one working in
Nicaragua), things have changed a bit here in our home. We don’t have to think about getting home for
anyone at the end of the day. The schedule is much less cluttered—we don’t have
a host of school events on our calendars.
There’s less laundry, less picking up, less cooking, less dish washing,
etc. After all, it is just the two of us.
I
guess on the surface all of that sounds great.
And, maybe at some point we will appreciate it. But although Kim and I
love our time together as husband and wife, right now there is something
strange for us as we look into two empty bedrooms, see the empty seats at the
table, and experience so much less energy in the house. It’s not that we don’t like being alone with
one another it’s just that after twenty-two years of taking care of children it
is suddenly a very strange feeling to not have them around. It’s strange to be living once again as “just the two of us.”
What
I have come to realize, even in just this past week, is how important it is for
a husband and wife to maintain their relationship during the child-rearing
years. If they don’t, when the children
leave they won’t have a relationship to fall back on. Now I understand why it
is that so many couples at this juncture in their marriage struggle. Thus, my
word of advice to all the young parents out there is this: In spite of all the
time, energy, and focus your children demand, make sure you continue to pour
time and energy into your marital relationship. Stay focused on the
relationship that brought those children into this world in the first
place.
Secondly,
as a lesson for all of us—married, single, with or without children—I have
realized how often during our child-rearing years, I allowed the proverbial
“mole hills” to become “mountains.” Without getting into specifics, I realize
that, things I perceived to be so important at that point in time, have turned
out not to be important at all. I wonder
how many times I acted and reacted based on the fact that my priorities had
become a bit mixed up. I wonder how many
conflicts and discipline issues I could have avoided if I had been a little
more focused on my relationship with my children and less focused on some of
the other stuff of life.
I
want to encourage each of you to, keep first things first. Don’t allow the
small things of life to create conflict or build walls between you and those
around you. After your relationship with
God, the people in your life and the relationships you have with them need to
be seen as the top priority of life.
Take time to love, to enjoy, and care for those around you. Take time to
appreciate the gift of people God has placed into your life.
I
love my kids, miss them a lot, and look forward to when they come home on their
breaks—or whenever. In the meantime, Kim and I will adapt to once again living
as “just the two of us,” not just because we have to, but because we really do
love each other, appreciate each other, and realize that the relationship we
have is truly God’s gift to us. I hope
only to use the time we have with each other—as well as any time we may have
with our children—wisely.
“Be
devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.”
(Romans 12:10 – NIV)
“Let no debt remain outstanding, except the
continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has
fulfilled the law.” (Romans 13:8 –
NIV)
Have
a great day!
Pastor
Tim Harris
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